DIFFERENT

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Signed: Your EX-Wife

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Dear Ex-Wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed: Rich As Hell and Free!

Source Unknown

GLOBALIZATION

What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Princess Diana's death.

How come?
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is written by a Singaporean using Bill Gates's technology, and
you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese
chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a
Malaysian plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by
Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by
Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization :p

Source Unknown

FUNNY POEM

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed away.
I wrote your name in the air, it was blown away.
then I wrote your name in my heart and I got a heart attack.

God saw me hungry, He created Pizza.
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, He created Light.
He saw me without problems, He Created YOU!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental Hospital is not so far.....

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Monkeys like you should be kept in Zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in Cage but laughing at you!

When your life is in the darkness,
Pray to God and ask Him to free you from darkness
And if after you pray and you are still in darkness,
then pleasee....You must pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

Source Unknown